We all have those used-to-be friends. Ones we used to be so close to and now, the distance is inevitable. Whether it was your kindergarten bestfriend who you no longer even make eye contact with in the halls, or your sister-from-another-mister who’s guts you wouldn’t mind shredding out. We all have those people in our lives.
There’s always different reasons as to why friendship ties fade away. It could be abrupt like ripping tape off your skin. The pain is massive and all at once. Your skin may be red at first, but eventually the pain fades away.
But it could also be like a candle. Some friendships are like a fresh lit candle. Sure it’s bright at first, but slowly the light dwindles away.
A fight that went too far, or just slowly creating distance. That’s the worse way to lose a friend. A slow, gradual, going apart from someone. When you look back there’s nothing to reconcile, nothing to fix. It’s just that awkward distance between you and them. Sure there’s the occasional glancing in the halls and the casual hello, but the closeness that feeling- it’s gone. It’s been replaced with awkwardness and a flutter of memories. That feeling isn’t there, but it’s little remnants are still present.
With a new school year coming up ahead, those faint we-used-to-be-close feelings emerge yet again. Seeing someone after 3 months is a little shocker itself. When you find out that your ex-friend is in one of your classes, it’s a confusion between happiness and do I really want to be around them?
To all of my used-to-be friends: Thank you.
Thank you for all of the amazing memories. Ones where I was laughing my heart out and all my problems disappeared. Moments where I felt happy and secure and contempt with life. Thank you for giving me your shoulder to lean on, for all the tears and complains you listened through. Thank you for being my friend.
Thank you for the not-so-amazing memories. For showing to me that with every downfall I will be able to pick myself up. For helping me grow into the person I am today. For showing me the reality of this world, that not everything will go the way you’ve hoped for it to be.
To all my used-to-be friends- I’m sorry.
I’m sorry for whatever hurt I caused you. Whatever pain you went through because of me.
Friends come and go, but memories will stay forever.
So to all my used-to-be friends, your memory will be with me forever. I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors and I hope that you won’t forget me, for as I will never forget you.